Giving it all to God. Looks different for each of us. Obedience can be freeing.
Obedience is a word that always left a sour taste in my mouth as a child. I was/am a rule follower. I hated it, though. I disliked how many rules there were and why I had to follow them all. Ultimately though, I was scared to break the rules because I knew I would be the one that got caught.
The few rules I did break, I was the one against all the odds to get caught.
Such is life, right? Some people can break the rules, and it seems not to affect them. They seem to be able to get away footloose and fancy-free.
I was always envious of the daredevils and the rebellious kids. I wanted to be one, but in my very nature, I would have a panic attack just thinking about it (for the most part). Still not perfect here, but I was the kid you could trust to do what you asked (just not always happily).
I still got in my fair share of trouble, but it usually had to do with arguing with my brother.
I find this true in my adult life too. Not the arguing with my siblings part, I get along great with them now. On the other hand, though, I’m not particularly eager to do what I’m asked to do. This month has been all about God’s refining me and asking for my obedience.
About a year ago, I understood the yerning my husband had for a piece of land. I like land too, but I also really love living by absolutely anything you could ever dream of.
The area we currently live in is a big tourist town with loads of music stars, artists, songwriters, athletes, and etcetera, so loads of things are always happening. Nashville is a melting pot for just about everything. Franklin, the town I specifically live in is sooo cute. The town square has festivals for every season, plays, food fests, music festivals, conferences, concerts, and just about anything I could ever dream of. No need for me to get a hotel, we live close enough to be the hotel.
Not to mention we just fixed up this beautiful house and made the kitchen of Marc and my dreams. Seriously, we have talked about building the kitchen we currently have for a decade, and we finally have it.
It is humorous in the bee sting kind of way when we were building this kitchen I had a feeling I wouldn’t be enjoying it as long as I was planning. I kept shoving that feeling down.
I thought, “It’s our choice to stay, and we can stay here until we die.” Why would I ever leave this place?
Well, about six months ago, I was sensing fierce change. I found myself thinking that maybe we could just buy a property out in the country to spend our weekends. This way, my kids, husband, and I can still enjoy country living without always being in the country. I wouldn’t have to leave our bougie home.
Months going on, Marc and I were working on our house “honey-do” list, even before COVID, and with every fix, a little thought came in my head “fix this for the next owners of the house.” I would shoot the idea down “This place is the town I love, why would I want someone else to live here?”
In the kid’s last IEP meetings with their schools before and after COVID, I mentioned at all of them. “I need the wording in their plans really clear. We are not planning on moving, but if anyone who works with them changes, I would like them to pick up this plan and be able to continue the same program.”
Why did I say that? UG, I don’t want to move again. This is about the time that I started praying hard every day. “Lord, not my will, but Your will be done. I give you my heart all over again. Please guide my family and me to what Your will is .”
All while I was doing a bible study on Genisis, which is all about what…. if you answered obedience, you guessed correctly.
So I do a solid month on Obedience, understanding that God wanted me to obey.
Not one of my giftings, but OK God, I will obey.
Then every time a thought of moving to the country came up, I had about three “Yeah BUTT” comments to go along with it. Slowly all of my excuses were stripped away, starting with my kid’s specialist picked up with a month’s notice and moved too far away for us to travel to. Then when COVID hit all, the rest of my excuses got just burned up like a three-alarm fire unless there is such thing as a five-alarm fire because if there is then definitely that. Whatever the most significant hottest fire is, all my excuses burned like that.
My family slowly talked about the pros and cons of moving and what would change, if it was feasible etc. LITERALLY like a scary CRAZY coincidence on our reasons was Pursuing true North, and doing what Catherine and I were doing wouldn’t be impossible from a distance, but it would change the way we did things. WITHIN one day of having that conversation, Catherine informs me in a message they are moving most likely to Georgia and homeschooling the girls…
I had tingles. I swear I heard the word “MOVE,” but at this point, it could have just been the night before pasta sauce. Who knows?
I had a lot of excuses but no good reasons.
Well, I’m a slow learner, and it hasn’t been until the last two weeks that I understood what God was asking me.
I fought in my soul what was essential and realized everything I thought wasn’t meaningful is actually the most important things.
Walking out, finding a place to live, and selling our current home has been a work-intensive process. With everything I fixed and painted, I said, “I’m walking this out in faith Lord if you want us to move help this to happen, if not please slam the door shut.” Some moments my prayer was, “Are you sure, Lord?” Other moments I’m just filled with love and peace, and things are falling into place.
He is so gentle and loving, thankfully, so because I am very hard-headed.
I share this because maybe this story can help you. Maybe your double guessing yourself in something God is asking you to do out of obedience?
It can be scary stepping out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you may get stretched, as long as you are following Jesus, even the scary parts, the uncomfortable parts are all worth it.
Trust in Him. He wants your heart, are you giving it to Him freely?
Giving it all to God. Looks different for each of us. Obedience can be freeing.
